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SJ Parodies
**The SJW Sorting Hat**
2012-04-16 03:44 pm (UTC)
Someone wrote this ages ago on the meme, I saved it, and I think it bears repeating.
For easy reference we've compiled
a short yet catchy song
to assess your life experience
and tell you where you belong.
First, there's sparkly GLITTERBAG
where dwell the varied queers
be they gay or trans or merely more
questioning than their peers.
Then there's Chromaticity
for those who aren't white
often asked to look over
things clueless people write.
In Spoondom you will find your home
if you're disabled or have triggers,
be prepared to discuss traumas
and be judged by whose is bigger.
If you belong to none of these,
join Privilege in a hurry,
just make sure to never mention if
you're poor or Welsh or furry.
*******************
**SJ: a love poem**
2012-04-30 04:22 pm (UTC)
Roses are red
But not every rose is red
You ableist, transphobic fucker
Go die in a fire
Your mom
I won't finish this joke
Cause insulting women is misogynistic
Which is bad
Trigger warnings?
I know those
Anything that upsets me
Right?
TW: Trigger Warnings
TW: Anti-OTP
TW: Discussion of gender
TW: Mentions of person I don't like
I would say that's stupid
But that would be ableist
So I will say foolish instead
See what a good person I am?
*******************
(Anonymous)
2011-03-22 05:38 pm (UTC)
And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
In the room the women come and go
Saying, “WELL INTENT ISN'T FUCKING MAGIC”
*******************
(Anonymous)
2011-03-22 05:38 pm (UTC)
Waah waah waah waah waah
Waah waah waah waah waah waah waah
Waah waah waah waah waah
*******************
**SJ Opera: Winterfox's Habanera**
(Anonymous)
2012-08-24 09:41 pm (UTC)
Hate is my favorite fucking bird
that I have easily tamed.
I turn on my fucking laptop
and he perches on my shoulder.
Nothing can protect you, neither threat nor prayer.
One man speaks eloquently, one is silent.
All fall before my onslaught:
Shitstain imperialist racist fuck!
Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!
Hate is a moron YA reader
Too fucking stupid to know the law.
Love me not, then I hate you.
If I hate you, beware!
The bird you thought you had caught, you turd,
beat its fucking wings and flew away.
You fucking idiot, you wait and wait;
Here I come! Colonialist weeaboo shitface scum!
Shoot all the white people in the head!
Irish people are fucking Nazis!
Throw acid in the faces of my enemies!
You think you're free, but I still tweet.
Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!
Hate is a moron YA reader
Too fucking stupid to know the law.
Love me not, then I hate you.
If I hate you, beware!
*******************
//(Anonymous)//
2013-02-01 07:21 am (UTC)
I fight against oppression, almost every day
on every part of Tumblr where I find that it holds sway.
I educate the masses, by telling them they're -ist
I know that's what they are, because I read it on a list.
My mind and heart are righteous and pure
and although I'm often yelled at, I will endure.
Because the masses cannot understand or glean
what it is to differ from the average and mean.
But what I will not tell you, is that my fight
although of course for all that is good and right
is mostly about me
for you see,
I am extremely special, and must tell you so
so that forever and ever, you will know:
general oppression and -isms are very very bad,
but when you oppress or trigger me it makes me really sad and mad.
*******************
(Anonymous)
2013-02-28 05:58 pm (UTC)
I have cooked up
the greens
that were in
my CSA box
and which
were probably
part of your
authentic cultural traditions
Forgive me
they were delicious
and they
went really well with fried chicken
