July 9, 2013: A nonny suggests:

Inspired by the last post, write a snippet of fic from a canon or characters you only know of from the meme or general fandom osmosis. Don't forget to put it behind a cut!

Variation: Someone suggests a character or canon combo and nonnies write what they think they know.

Nonnies obliged with such fics for movie!LOTR Bilbo/BBC Sherlock, Homestuck, Hannibal, and Aubrey/Maturin:

The dashing, older ship captain strides over the deck of his ship that is probably part of the English Navy in some year that has an 18 on the front of it, or maybe a 17. The steps of his big, black, kink-friendly sailor boots echo in the sea breeze. Because they're sailing, you see, on the ocean. Probably going to a war or something.

“Maturin!” calls the man, looking only ever so slightly like Russell Crowe, “Or perhaps Aubrey, as I am unsure which one of us is which! Come and pay attention to me because I'm a dashing Captain in a kink-friendly uniform and my voice probably booms commandingly over the crash of the waves!”

“Captain Aubrey-or-Maturin,” answers the other, smaller, bottomier man in cute spectacles, blinking in an adorably befuddled manner, “I'm sure I want to pay attention to you because you're very dashing in a somewhat portly manner that often ends up referred to as 'barrel-chested', but I cannot!”

“What?!” Captain Not-the-biologist-one stands at attention, settling in for a proper pout. “We're better friends than most men have ever known and also sometimes I like to picture us fucking like insert-time-period-appropriate-euphamism-heres! Why would you not want the vast majority of our story to focus on that?”

“Because SCIENCE!” The-biologist-one exclaims, maybe with a flailing hand thrown in there somewhere, “And also I think I'm married. Or a spy. Or… married to a spy. I don't know, there are a lot of books, oh, look over there, is that a new kind of butterfly!?”