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Critters

Nonnies are pretty divided on the topic of mods awarding critters (that is, comments with critter icons) to people on the first page of each new post. Some of us clamor for them; some of us sneer from under the Pony Line (see "Ponies") because, fuck it, we're too cool for ponies. (And many velociraptor nonnies think that ponies, like most other mammals, are crunchy and delicious with ketchup.)

Some of our many critters:

Kraken
Kraken
Mycroft the Platypus
Mycroft the Platypus
White Cock
White Cock
Pigeon
Pigeon
Sweater Penguins
Pigeon
Sweater Cocks
Sweater Cocks
Joyful Otter
Joyful Otter
Foodwank Bunny
Foodwank Bunny
Smoking Alpaca
Smoking Alpaca
Mildew Sensing Frog
Mildew Sensing Frog
Emoraptor
Emoraptor
temporarily-a-kitten!Thor
temporarily-a-kitten!Thor
Sombrero Goat
Sombrero Goat
Unfortunate Elephant
Unfortunate Elephant
Victorian Raptor
Victorian Raptor
Ball Pit Velociraptor
Ball Pit Velociraptor
Prettiest Girl in
Mantisfuck Voreworld
Prettiest in MFVW
“Captain America, I
command you to wank!”
Captain America, I command you to wank!
Thor fucks a Pop-Tart
Thor & Pop-Tart
Theon Ramsey Tentacles
Theon Ramsey tentacles
Cthulhu Sheep
Cthulhu Sheep
Sad Gay Baby Deer
Sad Gay Baby Deer
#notallbees
Not All Bees!!
Swan in a Box
Swan in a Box
Bucky the Grouch
Bucky the Grouch
Saint Buttsex
Saint Buttsex
Slingbaby Loki
Slingbaby Loki
Except for Loki
Except for Loki

Some of the critters have long and complicated stories behind them. Some just seemed like a really good idea at the time. Almost all were created by Nonnies.

  • Prettiest Girl in Mantisfuck Voreworld: MFVW is just another variation on the Omegaverse. Only with one less head.
  • Ball Pit Velociraptor: In commemoration of Dashcon, everybody’s favorite con wank.
  • Bucky the Grouch: Every HYDRA Trash Party needs a Bucky the Grouch. Honest consideration admits that Oscar the Grouch would be a huge fan of HYDRA.
  • Cthulhu Sheep: If this sheep isn’t an Elder God laying low in Wales, no sheep is. Ur-Sunny has played a lot of Skyrim. She’s seen elder gods and this is one.
  • #notallbees: It’s a bee. In a fedora. If it had a Twitter account, it would be a Bees’ Rights Activist. It is in no way at all a reference to Winterfox. Not at all. In any way.
  • Sad Gay Baby Deer: Like so many things, Sad Gay Baby Deer comes from the trainwreck that is //BBC Sherlock// fandom. “Fawnlock,” the often underaged, often sad, inevitably gay deer version of Sherlock, is a thing that exists. Sad Gay Baby Deer just takes it up a notch.
  • Swan in a Box: In the box is a swan. It is irritated by the box and by the fact it hasn’t been fed for 10, maybe 20 minutes. Originally intended to be sent to Angel Clare, it is reserved for all who annoy meme.

Back in March 2012, there was a call for submissions on the important subject of Pony/Seal femslash. The following question was raised: Which ponies and which seals top each other in femslash. Please write a 500 word essay on the topic. All essays must use the phrase: "nipples like fawn's hooves". Pony and Seal gender identifications are fluid. You have 40 minutes. Begin.

The clear winner:

(sorry, I lost steam and the will to edit down/into coherency after half an hour)

Despite the fact that many of the FFA seals and ponies seem to identify or be identified as female (see threads at various posts), the amount of FFA-critter femslash fic around is surprisingly low. However, we will attempt to provide an overview of possible trends from the few examples and meta about these beloved characters.

Although the pairing of Firstness/Pinkie Pie enjoyed a brief surge in popularity after Firstness's arrest and probation – and in most of the coda fanworks Pinkie Pie tops Firstness in this scenario, in variations of the “prison bitch” trope – there are few enough such fanworks that we cannot fully extrapolate a long-term trend about who normally initiates sexual contact or takes charge during sex. Firstness's general level of enthusiasm and eagerness to try new things (see: Driving) is widely known; however evidence shows that Pinkie Pie is frequently first in line during Pony Conga and is also enthusiastic. It might be safest to assume that in non dubcon or incarceration-related settings, Firstness and Pinkie Pie switch.

It should be noted that quite a few fans show some level of squick at pairing Seals with other Seals or Ponies with other Ponies. This is not universal, yet common enough that we can say the idea of FFA Seal-on-Seal or Pony-on-Pony action may tap into some commonly held taboo, such as incest. Still, edgier creators of fanworks have gone there, perhaps inspired by valtyr's pony blowjob classic; see for instance fannaked's experimental Secondses/Thirdses/Consolation poly shipvid Fawn-Hoofed Nipples - On Ice, and sparkleseal's influential meta piece, The Romance of Consolation and Eldred, through Mycroft's gaze.

Fungus!Poet is one of the few fanartists who, besides being a popular gen fanworks creator, is open about their pony-on-pony kink. Yet the characters used in the notorious “clothespin edgeplay” piece, while clearly an homage to the FFA/MLP fusion BDSM 'verse, seem to be OFCs rather than the familiar FFA characters. Nevertheless, in this work, it is clear that Pegasus-pony tops, indicating that FFA fans may believe that characters with obvious mutant, demigod, or other superpowers will dominate non-superpowered women in domestic scenarios – as long as they are not Mary Sues.

The underage debate continues to rage hotly when it comes to Fifthness, as this young seal is seen by many as too young to pair with anyone, especially in kink. (Some fans even considered Firstness too young to pair on her first appearance.) Many fans prefer to create fanworks in which Fifthness is not paired but rather forms gen friendship bonds with several of the ponies in the pony line. It is notable that in some of the same fanworks, Fourthness may be in a consensual or noncon relationship with either genderbent Eldred (who always seems to tops Fourthness, although the general view seems to be that Eldred will sub for Secondses), or more daringly, with same-species Thirdses, who in such works is apparently very adept at flipper-wielding a crop.

One FFA femslash pairing, although not widely spoken of, remains popular in the dark underbelly of the fandom: the forbidden, longstanding love – complete with many break-ups, hatesex, and reconciliations – between Secondses and Thirdses. Due to their long history in fandom and fanworks, there is no clear consensus on who tops in this pairing, and those who have managed to circuitously get access to the fanworks report that they each seem to be written as the more assertive partner during sex in about equal amounts. […]

critters.txt · Last modified: 2021/08/28 18:54 (external edit)