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Sweeney Todd Space AU Filk

Nov. 28, 2014: In a thread titled “Guess the fandom from the space AU,” one nonny wrote:

A fresh-faced young man runs a small but well-respected spacecraft repair shop, where people can take their battered-up ships and he will fix them up as good as new. In his spare time, he also enjoys building his own small ships, and has several beautiful one-of-a-kind crafts of his own design.

He becomes so well-known for his mechanical skill that one day, the chief of the galactic space police pays him a visit, on the pretext of recruiting him to work as the police force's personal mechanic. But in fact, this is merely a cruel ruse. The chief merely wants the mechanic's ships for himself, and to get them, he arrests the mechanic on trumped-up charges and sends him to the furthest, most desolate space jail. He confiscates all the mechanic's ships, even the prototype that hasn't been completed yet, which he saves for his own personal use.

Years later, the mechanic escapes from jail and returns to his old space station, to find his shop destroyed and his prize spaceships stolen. Heartbroken, he dreams of nothing but revenge. But he is consoled by a neighbor who runs a failing spaceship fueling station, and who encourages him to restart his repair business. He does so, but only to lure the chief of police into coming in for a repair job, so that he can seize and destroy the chief's own ship – and even, perhaps, get his own crafts back.

As he steadily rebuilds his professional name, it looks like the mechanic is on track to achieve his goal. He's even devised a special crunching machine that will grind even the toughest spaceship into nothing but oil. But as the days go by, his patience dwindles, until at last he snaps and uses the cruncher on an innocent space trucker's truck. He decides that all spacecraft are better off destroyed in this corrupt universe, and begins a new, more destructive career. And meanwhile, his friend who runs the fueling station makes the happy discovery that the oil produced by his crusher makes for excellent spaceship fuel ….

The thread more or less broke out into song:

This is probably the worst fuel in London
I know why nobody cares to take it,
I should know, I pump it…

Booster pod that's so oily,
It's served on a doily.
But why?
Well, you never know if it's going to fly.
But, y'know, the trouble with rocket,
Is just try to dock it–in that light,
Stick with a sat'lite.

Speedy spaceships!
Speedy spaceships are a wonder
Zipping through the vacuum
Or floating light as air
Even when they break down
and rust up
They still are there
They're there…

In the center of the world where mechanics toil,
The hulks of spaceships are filled with oil,
And I'm just the boy who can make them boil–
And there's noplace like London!

The truth of life at the edge's been hushed--
Yes, Mr. Todd, ooh Mr. Todd speak from the stump!
Is who keeps flying, and who gets crushed.
Yes, Mr. Todd, and, Mr. Todd, who mans the pump.

sweeney-todd-space-au-filk.txt · Last modified: 2021/08/28 18:54 (external edit)