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Lets Reads

Meme discusses a lot of ridiculous people. Some of these ridiculous people are writers. And some of these ridiculous writers are not exactly at the peak of their craft.

That's where we come in.

Traditionally, a Let's Read begins with a nonnie obtaining some work by a wanker, bigot, or Social Justice Warrior who is making the rounds on meme and offering to read its most ridiculous excerpts. Nonnies then blindly request page numbers (or locations in an electronic book), and the original nonnie quotes an excerpt from that page. Generally, that excerpt is hilariously stupid, absurdly bigoted, or barely literate. And much entertainment is had by all.

Let's Reads include:

Theodore Beale (AKA Vox Day), infamous bigot who has published several fantasy short stories and novels through Castilia House, a publishing company that he owns. He was actually thrown out of the SFWA, a writer's guild, due to his racism.

The Last Witchking,” one of Day's novels. Included his story “Opera Vita Aeterna,” which was nominated for a Hugo as part of Sad Puppies 2. Meme mocked the poor use of Latin and other foreign languages (including in the title), the bizarre double entendres, and the stilted, overblown writing. Excerpt:

  • The cold autumn day was slowly drawing to a close . The pallid sun was descending, its ineffective rays no longer sufficient to hold it up in the sky or to penetrate the northern winds that gathered strength with the whispering promise of the incipient dark. The first of the two moons was already visible high above the mountains . Soon Arbhadis, Night’s Mistress , would unveil herself as well.”

Arts of Dark and Light,” another novel by Vox Day. Nonnies had great fun in mocking the poor writing and juvenile content. For instance:

  • “Amazing,” Patrice breathed. “It’s clearly some form of ritual. If it’s a spell, I’d imagine it must be based on an earth magic. Blais, do you realize we may be witnessing the first known example of ritual urine magic?“

Tom Kratman, part of the Puppy cadre. Known for threatening to track down and assault people who criticize his writing online.

Caliphate, a novel about Evil Muslims IN SPACE, which spilled over into a second thread. Excerpt:

  • Bernie Matheson—no, he was Bongo again—shuffled like a proper kaffir in boarding the airship anchored near the shabby, run-down terminal. Ling walked behind, wrapped in a burka. Their bags were carried aboard by a short coffle of slaves, owned by the airship line. As chartering customers, rather, as the servant and presumptive slave of a chartering customer, there was none of the usual customs and security nonsense.“

W!ll Sh3tt3rly. An ostensible hero of the working class who frequently barges into discusses to assert that racism and sexism are irrelevant, and all that matters is classism. Doesn't appear to actually understand what classism is, and frequently mixes up the Marxist definition of class with more conventional uses, as analyzed by a nonnie in the Let's Read thread.

How to Make a Social Justice Warrior, a collection of essays in which he argued in his usual clueless and incoherent style. Excerpt:

  • “Besides, Martin Luther King's favorite meal was fried chicken. If you think a dish loved by the US's greatest civil rights leader is racist, it's time to think again.”

Benjanun Sriduangkaew (AKA Winterfox). An infamous troll who repeatedly advocated for other authors to be raped, mutilated, and murdered, her writing features the same violent revenge fantasies as her reviews and general conduct.

Scale Bright“ Winterfox's novella, which almost drowned meme in its purple prose. Excerpt:

  • “Julienne is in a crowded train when a man whose skin gleams smooth as stone appears to inquire after her heart's desire. […] Smiling, he bares blunt shoeshine teeth.”

Dennis Upkins (AKA Neo Prodigy). Has argued at length that the reason his books don't sell is because of racist and homophobic straight white women. Meme would argue that it's because he's a terrible writer and a raging sexist to boot.

Hollowstone“. The very first read-along on fail-fandom featured Neo's ridiculous self-insert character, massive amounts of sexism, and a music theory class taught by the least professional teacher in existence. Excerpt:

  • ”[The music teacher said] Miss Robbins, for the sake of your music and your love life, I do hope that you learn how to blow properly […] do what you do with half the football team and swallow!“

West of Sunset“, his next 'work.' Featured another ridiculous self-insert character, terrible grammar (including two comma errors in the same sentence on the back cover of the book) and some of the most stilted writing every put to pen. Excerpt:

  • “Hello lover,” Bidella greeted. “Took you long enough.”
  • “My apologies ,” Lennox said chivalrously. “I wanted to look my best for tonight.”

John C Wright, professional science fiction writer who became infamous for his rants against right-to-die advocates, LGBT people, atheists, progressives, and everyone else not in accordance with the Church of Rome.

Transhuman and Subhuman,“ a collection of essays which was nominated for the Hugo in 2015 as part of the Rabid Puppies logrolling campaign. The content was found to be alternately hilarious and offensive. There was so much to go over that a second thread was opened up for further mockery. Excerpt:

  • If you doubt me, ask a partisan of sexual liberation why copulating with one’s adult sister, (with her consent of course), or with a menstruating fourteen-year old, (with the parent’s consent, of course), or with the corpse of one’s wife, (with her permission granted in her last will and testament, of course), or with an ape, (assuming she gave consent in sign language to the best of her ability, of course; or her owner gives consent on her behalf), in each case where actual coupling takes place, is evil, sick and perverted, whereas sexually stimulating the private parts of a person of one’s own sex, a situation where no copulation can take place, is nonetheless a cherished and romantic fulfillment of utterly natural longings which law, custom, society, public opinion, and the Roman Catholic Church must not only tolerate, but support, applaud, and approve. Ask them.“

One Bright Star to Guide Them,“ a Narnia ripoff which was also nominated for the Hugo in 2015. Featured a stereotypical evil Darwinian as a villain. Excerpt:

  • Richard stood up, his face red as if he had downed too many snifters of fine brandy. But it was not anger that brought the blood to his cheeks. It was pride, for he spoke in a boasting voice. “Naturally, with a childhood like I had, the things I'd seen—you saw them too, though you did not understand them—I was more curious about the unseen energies beneath our world than your average dull-witted banker or shallow scientist. Mystic energies! There is a life force behind all things, a power that binds the universe together. Man emerged from ape-man due to the ruthlessness of that life force, and if it were harnessed, channeled, focused, used as ruthlessly as it is meant to be used, then what might emerge from Man?“

Although many nonnies have shared horrible writing with us, there is one Let's Read Nonny who has really taken a hit for meme. They are a true hero.

lets-reads.txt · Last modified: 2021/08/30 08:38 (external edit)