April 30, 2015: While discussing Sherlock 221b Con Wank, a nonny lamented, “…at this point i think we need *lubricant*. jesus, it's like there's unending dwarf halls of wank. you pass through great palaces of wank, and wondrous carved gardens of wank, and then whole other vistas of wank open up before you.”

This not only led another nonny to suggest “Wondrous Carved Gardens of Wank” as a new post title (and mods obliged!), but inspired yet another to this flight of fancy:

Also known as the Hanging Gardens of Wanklock, the only of the Seven Ancient Wanks of the World for which we cannot find archaeological evidence.

The only wank left standing is the Great Wankamid of Thatfucker; despite years during which small pieces have fallen away, many people still return to witness this great wank. The Lightwank of MsScribia is well-documented but sadly no longer stands; the Crystalossus of Rhodes was the shortest-lived of the Wanks but one which many people remember for its glory.

In religion, the Temple of Snape at Astralphus is well-known as a place where many a Snapewife pledged their allegiance to their deity master. Less known is the great Statue of Llama at Olympus, which held in its right hand an exquisite statue of a cigarette as high as a man.

Perhaps the saddest of the Ancient Wanks, however, is the Mausoleum of Respectability at Fandom Wank, long-since abandoned by its acolytes. It stands alone, with no more to tend its halls or bring it tribute. Alas, poor Wank, you will be greatly missed.