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John Henry, the Pile-Drivin' Man
This filk was inspired by Kudos Wank:
John Henry was a little baby,
Sittin' on his pappy's knee.
He opened Pappy's laptop and picked up a mouse
And he surfed over to AO3, lord, lord,
He surfed over to AO3.
The beta said to John Henry,
“That Ice, she just went to town,
Gentlefailers over at An Archive of Our Own
They layin' some kudos on down, down, down,
They layin' some kudos on down.”
John Henry said to his beta,
“A fan ain't nothin' but a fan.
And before I let Gentlefailers drive that pile,
I'll die with this ol' mouse in my hand, lord, lord,
I'll die with this ol' mouse in my hand.”
John Henry said to the filker,
“Filker, why don't you sing?
'Cause this'll be the biggest wank you ever seen
Since HP or The Lord of the Rings, lord, lord,
Since HP or The Lord of the Rings.”
The troll that started the piledrive,
Zie thought zie were mighty fine,
But John Henry left Ice a thousand kudos;
And the troll, zie only left nine, lord, lord,
And the troll, zie only left nine.
John Henry died at the keyboard
They buried him in the Sourceland
And every wank train that comes passin' by
rumbles “Yonder lies a pile-drivin' man, lord, lord,
Yonder lies a pile-drivin' man.”
