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Hallelujah Parodies

Leonard Cohen

Meme loves to filk Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” as much as it likes to write parodies of William Carlos Williams’ “This Is Just To Say.”

In January 2015, a troll was running all over meme and posting the following comment: “Hypocrisy is the claim or pretense of holding beliefs, feelings, standards, qualities, opinions, behaviors, virtues, motivations, or other characteristics that one does not in actual fact hold.” This led to the following parody:

I heard there was an anon thread

Where trolls posted to make things dead

But you don't really care for modding, do you?

It goes like this: The Hyp, the Cris

The minor Jar and the major Mish

The baffled meme, composed “what the fuck, huh?”

What the fuck? Huh? What the fuck, huh? What the fuck, huh, what the fuuuuuuuck, huh….

In February, a nonny started a thread about the Shrimp Cloud Kickstarter. Another anonfailed in the thread with, “Hall-e-fucking-lu-jah. It's not even Leonard Cohen's best song!” This kicked off a wave of filk:

The Holy Prawn was moving too

He'd call her “shrimp,” but shrimp are tref.
But you're not really keeping kosher, do ya?

She broke your shell, she picked you clean
And from your guts she drew tomalley-lujah…

About a week later, in a discussion of an antisemitic troll from a previous post who’d claimed “Jews are stalking me,” one nonny-come-lately said they wished they’d seen the wank in time: “I’d have informed them that I was coming after them with a minyan, and we were going to force them to forswear pork, shellfish, and Jesus at the point of a bris knife.” Another said, “This nonnie will gladly give up Jesus and pork, but you'll have to prise shellfish from my cold, dead hands.” And that led to this:

Your trayf was nommed with 80-proof,
You didn't see us on the roof,
The smell of the paella overthrew ya
We tied you to a kitchen chair
We threw your cookpot down the stairs
And down your sink we washed tomalley, booyah!

hallelujah-parodies.txt · Last modified: 2021/08/30 03:49 by nonnymousely