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A proper Avengers fanfic

The thread began with a nonny complaining about fics in which all characters are introduced by their formal first and last names. Example given:

Natalia Romanova went into SHIELD and saw Clint Barton fucking Dr. Bruce Banner on top of an exposed beam in the mansion. She decided to throw knives randomly into the air. Steven Rogers entered the room and blushed red like the red in Anthony Stark's power suit, or Virginia “Pepper” Potts' hair. Maybe even her own hair. She surmised that Steve did not do this with James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes. After watching with a gentle smile on her face, she decided that she should call Thor Odinson, Dr. Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, Philip Coulson, Maria Hill and Nicholas Fury to collect on her bet.

Another nonny replied, “This is a terrible Avengers fanfic, anon. I didn't see you mention toasters, pop tarts, or movie night once.” To which subthread OP said, “Ah shit, let me fix that,” and continued:

Natalia Romanova, aka The Black Widow, went into the Avengers mansion and saw Clint Barton, whom she called Hawkeye in battle, and Dr. Bruce Banner, who was getting used to her calling him Hulky Wulky, fornicating on the couch.

“Oh, Clint,” she said. She threw the DVD of The Notebook at them and hit Clint on the head. He was chewing a pop tart while bouncing up and down.

“This is fun, Tashy,” Clint said. Tashy rolled her eyes and started throwing knives at the bouncing Clint, who just grinned at her. She had an outline of knives after a few minutes.

“Oh goshdarn it, Clinton and Brucie,” Steven G. Rogers said, walking in wearing his Captain America costume. He was blushing like the strawberries that James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes cut up for him every morning using knives.

“These rascals,” Tashy said, shaking her head at them. She had to call Anthony Stark, Virginia “Pepper” Potts, Nicholas Fury, Dr. Jane Foster, Thor Odinson, Philip Coulson, Darcy Lewis, Sam Wilson, James “Rhodey” Rhodes to collect on the bet, because only she predicted that Clint would be eating pop tarts today.

a-proper-avengers-fanfic.txt · Last modified: 2021/08/28 18:54 (external edit)