Antarctica Wank

In early January 2016, for the new-ish common thread “Country of the Post,” a nonny went with Antarctica. The very first reply, from an OAA, was //“Bullshit.”// The reply to that was, “Oh please, start Antarctica wank. It's probably the only thing meme hasn't wanked about yet.”

Request granted!

“I'm just saying, it's bullshit. The whole country of the post thing was dumb to begin with, but you're gonna pick fucking Antarctica? Isn't this supposed to be educational or a place for memers who know fuck all about the place OP picked to coo over it and show off their minimal knowledge or whatever? What discussion is OP hoping will come of this? What is there to discuss about Antarctica? Fucking penguins?”

While OAA continued to rage elsewhere, and another nonny tried to start colonialism wank, “Fucking penguins” quickly became a new catchphrase, a potential future post title, and the inspiration for fanfic:

It was a dark and stormy night. We were hiding inside the ship for fear of lightning, thunder, below zero temperatures, and penguins. Huddled, we sought comfort in one another, under blankets or, in the case of the extremely noisy couple from cabin 33, inappropriately short leather jacket. They think they're being cool, my neighbour mouthed to me, his voice cannot be heard over the gale.

We must have sat there for hours on end, before the captain burst in. Despite the cold temperatures, he was sweating. And his face - that of a doomed man.

Is it safe? We all asked, with the exception of the couple from 33, who weren't really paying attention to anyone else, as we've discovered to our dismay when we tried to hint at the inappropriately short leather jacket. The captain shook his head. He was pale, and tiny beads of ice were forming on his hair. It was as if he had seen death incarnate.

'We…' he swallowed, trying to find his voice. 'I am sorry. I have failed you all.' He was silent for a long time before he uttered another word. 'The things I have seen…'

'What?!' my neighbour shouted, trying to get over the noise generated under leather jackets. 'What is it? What have you seen?!'

'It's…' he took a deep breath. 'The fucking penguins.'

The couple from 33 went silent.