Table of Contents

Perennial Yuletide Wankers

Kitty de Sade

Kitty de Sade is a Yuletide participant who produces largely unwanted pinch-hit fic that has come to be known as “kittyfic.” As explained to this gentlefailer who wanted to know what “kittyfic” was,

The key element of Kittyfic is the desire to write a fic, any fic, and not giving a shit if you actually care about the canon/prompt or not: kittydesade, the person in question, is famous for taking pinch-hits and then using wikipedia to 'teach' herself the canon. But you could also apply it to people who go “Oh yeah, sure, I read that twenty years ago” and hit claim instantly on pinch-hits. The rest is usually the gen equivalent of ATG fic and makes a lot of the people who get it feel shittier than no present at all, because they're clearly being used as an ego-boost for someone else to go “Look how much I wrote!”

To make it worse, there's almost always someone going, “Crap, I saw that pinch-hit two hours later/wanted to take a bit to consider if I could actually do a good job, but when I decided to go for it, kitty was already there.” kittyfic types should be a last resort, someone you go to when nobody else is stepping forward, not first port of call, but Elyn was famous for being so pleased with kittydesade's “reliability”.

_coal and FFA are also irritated with how Kitty angles for headpats from mods and other participants for writing kittyfic. This coalie points out this thread on the mothership community in which Kitty said,

I just offer the 10 fandoms that most excite me/come to mind first. I figure, if I'm bouncy about them when I first see them, I should be able to put together a story for my recipient that hopefully carries the excitement through to whoever it is. Then I go through the pinch-hits like a singularity-powered vacuum.

When called out by another participant, she whined, “At this point I doubt anything I say will convince you that I'm not a pinch-hit gobbling monster depriving people of their fun, and I'm sorry I tried to be witty about it in the first place.”

Another coalie: “if she didn't bloody brag about it, the people involved would just grimace a bit, assume they'd gotten one of the weaker writers of Yuletide, and move on.” These comments in reply agree, also calling out Kitty's deliberate focus on quantity over quality.

This coalie gave brief opinions of a number of kittyfics. This one analyzed a specific The Good Wife genfic of Kitty's in the context of the canon.

Here are a few additional _coal threads about kittyfic, although there are many others.

FlipFlop_Diva

Flipflop_Diva is widely resented for signing up to numerous fic exchanges and then often simply leaving up placeholders for her Dear Writer letters and her fic and never completing them, and seldom commenting on giftfic that was written for her. One nonny says, “She was one of the post-collection-opening pinch hits for Fic Corner and she managed to leave a comment for the mod in the comm asking where her gift was, but she never commented on either of the gifts she received.”

At the beginning of November 2014, this coalie noticed that FF_D had been banned from the Samhain Smutfest “due to failure to turn anything in OR let us know they were dropping out.” Yet on Halloween she signed up for wishlist_fic, saying, “Okay, I have totally failed the last two years, but third time's a charm, right?”

On Dec. 12, 2014, a coalie noted that FF_D had put up a fandom stocking without having finished her Yuletide letter, and added, “Points to anyone who leaves a placeholder 'I owe you a fic' comment.” The next day, another coalie replied,

Just in case the mod deletes it, here it is for all my bitches.

“Hi I really like your ideas, so I made you some things.

http://into-the-angst.livejournal.com/10022.html
https://into-the-angst.livejournal.com/9932.html
https://into-the-angst.livejournal.com/9656.html
http://into-the-angst.livejournal.com/9468.html
https://into-the-angst.livejournal.com/9026.html
https://into-the-angst.livejournal.com/8934.html
http://into-the-angst.livejournal.com/8337.html

I'm sure you'll understand I am working on them.

These are placeholders. Your stocking will be filled!

I promise it will be coming soon!”

The following day, a mod — Medie — did in fact delete it and put up a post yelling at people for trolling FF_D's stocking. _coal discussed it here.

On the 20th, a coalie lamented that FF_D already had a Yuletide gift but Coalie did not. A fellow coalie waxed poetic: “Is it wrong of me to hope it's deliberate coal smeared in trans-fat, swaddled in socks and ugly ties, frosted with shit and tied up with a tampon string?Because so much that. And I hope the writer had a blast farting it out.”

It turned out that indeed it was deliberate coal of a sort, as a coalie had posted an excerpt of it back when they started writing it and confirmed at the time that it was written for “someone who never comments on their gift-fics”. The Waiting Game, featuring a character being upset at not getting replies to her letters, was posted to the collection as flipflop_diva's gift fic, but the coalie's efforts were in vain as the mods removed it from the collection and sent FF_D out as an emergency pinch hit. Author coalie theorizes that the mods were going to let it through until someone complained, and concludes "#YOLO".

When f_s 2015 opened, _coal got called out in the rules section, to the amusement of the OP here. The wank was recapped for newbs.

Untherius

Untherius is a well-meaning but obtuse Yuletide writer who, as explained in this _coal thread, has become notorious for giving recipients fic that is not at all what they wanted.

Quote: “Untherius is the kind of guy who writes unasked for AUs of children's book characters as scheming clawed alien geneticists or disney princesses mutating into the sun. He writes graphic blood-guzzling animal murder for vegans and raptor/human mutant eggbaby birth scenes for people who ask for no kidfic.” He also “writes long, self-serving essays about his 'creative process' and posts them to the Yuletide community. He's fine as a recip but doesn't seem to handle concrit well - which is interesting because he heavily deals it out to people he feedbacks. Judging from things he's said to his recips in other exchanges he's fairly bitter about his Yuletide reputation and blames his recips for not specifying they didn't want dewclaws, organ-eating, etc.”

For Yuletide 2013 Untherius wrote a 28K //Jurassic Park// fic pairing Robert Muldoon with Clever Girl and also with an OFC. His recipient, Voksen, tactfully replied, “Thank you for writing for me. Your headcanons are always so detailed and unique. Happy Yuletide.” Well before reveals, one coalie enthused,

I've turned a corner with Untherius. If he really did write the fic we all suspect, I love him. He's made it a better experience for me, tracking down his crazy-ass self and reveling in it. He's like the rock-hard bean in our Yuletide King Cake, and I think he recipient should be an honorary mod for the next year.

On Jan. 2, after reveals, one coalie noted that Untherius was on the Yuletide comm, talking up his writing process. Another replied that the thread should have been titled “Dinosaur Fucking & More Shit for 1,000.”

As discussed on both FFA and _coal in late October 2014, someone went into the comments of Untherius's fic "In Which a Hunting Trip Becomes More" (the animal-slaughter one written for a vegan and linked to multiple _coal threads mocking him. Both communities condemned this behavior. To his credit, Untherius replied classily, and abluestocking, the fic recipient, came to his defense.

Wook77

For Yuletide 2009, QuinFirefrorefiddle wrote Wook77 a fic in The Departed fandom titled “The Readiness Is All.” On AO3 on Christmas Day, Wook replied with, “Thank you for writing such an interesting interpretation of my request.” On her LJ, she wrote,

Passive aggressive douchebaggery is passive aggressive. I had no idea that getting the preferred name for a character right was just so much of a fucking hardship that one needed to make a point of mentioning that the requested first name is actually the character's middle name. I also had no idea that when someone says “no smut needed”, that they were actually asking for a kink they don't like to be prominently featured in a PWP. Consider me enlightened.

On Dec. 28, Quin put up a brief Dreamwidth post that concluded with: “TL;DR: someone on the internet has actually managed to offend me, and the last time someone offended me was when my uncle threatened my grandmother. And that was five years ago.” On New Year’s Day, when author reveals had been made, she politely confronted Wook77 in Wook’s comments, pointing out that D/s was not mentioned in Wook’s squicks and that she’d tried hard to follow Wook’s request in regard to Dignam’s name. Wook would not be placated.

On the same day, Quin put up a DW post titled, “The Yuletide Journey- or, how you, too, can get accused of “passive aggressive douchebaggery.’” Linking to Wook77’s DYW letter, she pointed out that it neither ruled out smut nor listed D/s as a squick. Despite Wook77’s snide comment to Quin on her own LJ, she did indeed list scat as a squick (as well as, ever so charmingly, “boys acting like chicks with dicks”). Wook also wrote, “I also like Bryce Dignam, not Sean Dignam (in fact, I loathe Sean as his first name for some reason).” Quin, who was new to Yuletide but had been writing fic for 13 years, got the impression that Wook wanted Billy to call Dignam “Bryce” in the fic, which apparently was not the case.

Here is a 2012 _coal discussion of the matter. The consensus was that while Quin should not have presumed D/s would be okay without confirming it via a mod, Wook was a much bigger asshole about the whole thing. “Given that this is the second or third time Wook publically complained a gift fic from an exchange, though, I'd say she is far more firmly planted in the asshole category than that writer.”

Wook comes up only a few times on Dememe, but both mentions are extremely negative. This nonny calls them an “Unbelievably toxic and horrible person who actually shit all over at least 2 giftfics that I'm aware of, including calling the writers names and picking fights in the comment section of one of them. I avoid them like crazy and wouldn't cross the street to piss on them if they were on fire.” In this thread (specifically here), Wook’s repeated Yuletide assholery, her notoriety for “having shitfits if someone doesn't write to her exact specifications,” and her wanky behavior as a Harry/Draco fest mod are covered. Though as I recall a lot of the HP stuff about her is locked because she was such a mega-bitch people didn't want to deal with her blowing up at them.”