====== HOOKS FOR HANDS ======

{{http://i.imgur.com/Ny67xC9.jpg?275x275|Abu Hamza key holder}}

On August 24, 2013, a nonny chose to share a book in a [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/64910.html?thread=305325198#t305325198|Worst YA Novel Ever]] thread. This book was called //Crazy-Beautiful//, by Lauren Baratz-Logsted. As the nonny [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/64910.html?thread=305332366#t305332366|described]],

It's a Beauty and the Beast retelling. There's this misunderstood and enigmatic male figure that our main female character (Aurora Belle) is the only one who can understand, of course. And he has hooks for hands because he lost his trying to blow up his last school.

The nonny linked to a hilarious review by [[http://rachelmanija.dreamwidth.org/873464.html|Rachel Manija]], which in turn linked to three other [[http://rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com/358425.html|hilarious]] [[http://octopedingenue.dreamwidth.org/590213.html|reviews]]. (The third review has since been deleted or flocked.)

The hooks apparently take up a [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/64910.html?thread=305341838#t305341838|significant amount]] of narrative attention.

Yes it mentions he has HOOKS FOR HANDS at every possible opportunity. Just so you don't forget that he has HOOKS FOR HANDS. Not just regular prosthetics, but HOOKS in the place of HANDS.

[[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/64910.html?thread=305343374#t305343374|Nonnies continue]] riffing on the HOOKS this character has in place of his HANDS.

He chose them so he would //scare even himself//.\\
\\
He does his laundry hookful by hookful.\\
\\
He's not sure how he's going to do sex. What with the hooks. That you might have forgotten he had.

It gets a bit [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/64910.html?thread=305347214#t305347214|weird]] and [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/64910.html?thread=305347982#t305347982|sexual]]. Why is it weird again? I can't remember; maybe someone should [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/64910.html?thread=305346190#t305346190|tell me again]].

The plight of those whose HANDS have been replaced by HOOKS has been mentioned periodically on meme in intervening years, such as this December 2013 [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/74201.html?thread=351947481#t351947481|Issuefic thread]], this February 2014 [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/79030.html?thread=377511862#t377511862|Weirdest Wanky Pro Fic]] thread, this May 2014 [[http://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/88952.html?thread=428644216#cmt428644216|Fic Recs: Great prose]] thread (despite being neither fic nor great prose), this December 2014 [[http://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/114928.html?thread=584836080#cmt584836080|This Will Never Not Be Funny]] thread, and this wanky [[http://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/131587.html?thread=686166531#cmt686166531|Terrible fandom/fanfic phrases]] subthread.

In April of 2015, [[http://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/134016.html?thread=699223936#cmt699223936|a nonny suggested]] combining HOOKS FOR HANDS with [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/74201.html?thread=351890649#t351890649|"Tom. You don't have any legs."]] (Though note that the HFH meme [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/74201.html?thread=351931865#t351931865|came up]] in that thread too.)



{{tag>todo jargon jargon:memes}}