====== Cat Soulbond Wank ======

{{http://i.imgur.com/qhOyuiI.jpg|chonky black cat against a trippy sparkly background}}

January 7, 2014:

//[[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/75592.html?thread=359162184#t359162184|My cat and I are soulmates.]]//

//I got Liviana many years ago. She was a stray that made it to my front porch. At the time I was going through a lot of relationship difficulties - bad breakups, lingering feelings, lots of nonsense. Livie's appearance marked an end to all that because I realized that I should be devoted to her rather than trying to fit squares into circles.//

//Livie is a gorgeous long-haired cat with tortie colors. When I'm feeling poorly, she caresses me gently with her tail to comfort me. We've established a empathic bond over the years so she needs only to walk into the room to know what my mood is.//

//I prioritize egalitarianism between us. I despise pet-owners who compare their pets to children. Livie is not my child. She's on equal footing with me in everything. She is the most beautiful soul I've ever found with a gentle spirit, despite the hardship that she's faced living on the streets. She's my inspiration for living.//

Other nonnies called troll immediately. OP played offended: //"Would meme be so eager to make fun of someone for describing their relationship with their human partner in such a way? I doubt it."// More-earnest nonnies proceeded to ask OP about [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/75592.html?thread=359177288#t359177288|their sexual relationship with Livie]] (nonexistent) and [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/75592.html?thread=359189576#t359189576|how the "soulmate" thing works]]. OP [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/75592.html?thread=359177800#t359177800|chose to be wanky]] over another nonny not using the correct gender pronouns for Livie. [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/75592.html?thread=359180360#t359180360|There was copious wank]] over people who consider their pets their "//children//," whom OP "//despises//." And [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/75592.html?thread=359202888#t359202888|//"but does being a felineromantic asexual make you queer tho."//]] Backup_Sunny [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/75592.html?thread=359231048#t359231048|ultimately froze the thread]].

[[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/76964.html?thread=365976484#t365976484|Two weeks later]], the OP showed up in the [[common-threads|common thread]] "Ask Me Anything." Things did not get wanky this time.

In April 2014, [[smoking-alpaca-wank|Smoking Alpaca Nonny]] 'fessed up to [[http://fail-fandomanon.livejournal.com/84193.html?thread=402551777#t402551777|also being Cat Soulbond Nonny.]]

{{tag>todo wank wank:animal-wank wank:ffa-wank}}